I was never warned that happy pills had side effects. I took you in, and in turn, you took me to great heights. You took me someplace higher than cloud nine, made me feel alive, and filled me with the ecstasy I lacked but never knew. And when all came crashing down, no, you didn’t let me hit rock bottom. Not yet, at least. And with that, I felt secure.
You lulled me into complacency. I was satisfied with how things were. I was enjoying myself up high, completely unaware of the downsides. Even if I were, though, I probably wouldn’t have cared much either. I was too blinded as though I was a dark room suddenly flooded with light.
But along with the light, you brought monsters. And not just the type that hid in the closet or under your bed, but the type that won’t seem to leave your head. Uncertainty, Longing, and Doubt. So just when I was already too high up to even see the ground, everything came crashing down. You let me hit rock bottom like you probably planned to all along. The fall was just as great as the heights; the pain, twice as much.
What should have been the last time instead became a pastime. I took you in. Again. And again. And again. I took you in a hundred times more despite my body’s pleading.You were poison in my bloodstream; something lethal that could possibly be the death of me. With every dosage, I deteriorated. Except, how would I know and why would I care? I was enjoying every bit of it. You took me to heaven, and left me burning in hell.